the ’sham

Finally, the moons line up and I’m in the right place at the right time. Manuel only comes in on Tuesdays to the travel agency. The girl at the desk says he’s definitely the right person to talk to if I want to hear a Portuguese story. Manuel is attending to what looks like an old and loyal customer. I wait for a little while, thumbing through the package tours to New Zealand and Tasmania. These tours seems uniquely unappealing to me. Thousands of dollars blown in a fortnight where your every move is circumscribed. And what’s more, you have to pay a “singles supplement” as a punishment for not having a travelling companion!

Manuel waves me over. “So, why me?” he teases. “Why me?” And before I can answer, he launches into a long joke about a famous football player who also asks “Why me?”, when there’s a stadium full of eighty thousand fans, not to mention twenty two footballers and two referees. I wont spoil it by revealing the punchline. If you pass by on a Tuesday you might be able to hear it for yourself.
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Things are piling up behind me, a wave of events and meetings and memories that seems to swell up, ready to crash. As I come towards the end of my period of self-imposed suburban lockdown, connections are leading to further connections, first-time meetings are rolling over into follow-ups, which slowly become…relationships? These second, third, fourth meetings develop a more easy casual flow. Perhaps some sort of rapport begins to build. Or maybe it’s trust. As I walk around the neighbourhood, it’s rare not to wave and say hi to somebody I’ve met through this project.

A little more than a year ago, in Kellerberrin, I wrote:

I feel like I am withdrawing, bit-by-bit, from this town. With only ten days to go, and an ever-mounting list of things to do, I’m finding it more difficult to pursue pointlessness with the same rigor as I did in April.

I guess it’s become apparent that the aims of these two projects are quite different. In Keller, I was interested to see how much I could succeed in drifting, in not setting fixed goals, in just living in the present moment, rather than working towards a deadline. The pursuit of pointlessness seemed to be an aim in itself. (And it’s surprisingly difficult!) Considered from one angle, the town of Kellerberrin was merely the backdrop for that personal project.

When I began the ’sham, the question seemed to have changed. With the space to reflect, I realised that the relationships developed in Kellerberrin were one “outcome” of the residency- somewhat intangible, sure, but nevertheless real. Since then, pursuing pointlessness, for some reason, has dropped from my list of things to do. Why is that?
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It’s Friday night, half past ten. You may have detected from the tardy, irregular updates, that I’ve been having a bit of a hard time knuckling down this week.

Not that it’s been “unproductive”. Sure, I’ve been meeting people. There’s been no shortage of good feedback about the project, and exciting new adventures are lining themselves up for next week. Best of all, some of the friendships I formed early on are really starting to firm up.

For example, who could believe that only a week has passed since I first met Tully (and he’s already buggin me with curly questions)? Or that things could be quite solid with Lucy, after only two cups of tea? Or that I lived in Petersham for nearly two years before starting a conversation with Carmela and her daughters from Charlie’s Deli? And who would have known that Chris (”eyes on the street”) could turn out to be such a strong local ally?
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It’s been a week. I’ve just spoken to Chris in Perth, who knows my history (more than nearly anyone), and I feel clearer now about what needs to be done.

Following my post from yesterday, where I expressed concern that I was not “feeling the freshness” - that I was going through the motions a bit - that it all felt like a bit of “a job” (heaven forbid!) - I received several encouraging emails and comments, urging me to keep “powering along” with it. To all who wrote, thanks. It helps. At least I know what I’ve done so far hasn’t been entirely tedious, tepid, or turgid. However, I still think a change is called for.
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